I would be very ill from the treatments, but there was a ‘chance’, he told me. ‘What kind of chance?’ I asked him. ‘Maybe 10%, that depends a lot on you!’ ‘And if I do nothing?’ I asked. ‘You will feel pretty much OK until it gets bad, then you fail quickly.’ he said, beginning to understand where I was headed. ‘So how long if I just go home?’ I asked him. ‘Six months, 12 tops,’ he said. I thought for a second, made my decision. He stood up and shook my hand. ‘How about I send Tina over for a. “Would you think ill of me if I didn’t go with you?”I didn’t answer her right away while I scanned her. I wanted to make sure I understood her reasons for not going. It turns out that she got seasick easily.“Not at all,” I finally replied. “Are you okay staying here? Or do you need to get back home? I’m sure we can work something out to get you back to San Diego if you need to.”“Are you kidding? Leave Paradise?” she quickly exclaimed with a smile. “No, thanks. I’ll be just fine here. And I have. And yet, and this was the part I was having trouble accepting, they were both a part of me. The blood that ran through my veins was, in large part, theirs. I hated them both, but I wanted and needed to hear from them, everything they could tell me about my birth, and those lost first years of mine. The hate part had been festering from my first awareness in the orphanage. Somehow, I had always known that I had been thrown away. I had felt like I'd been discarded. It was one thing to feel like. I could tell my wife was feeling no pain as she laughed and smiled a lot. We had not planned to meet anyone when we ran out for some errands that afternoon, so my wife was wearing a pair of black knit Capri leggings with her tennis shoes. She had on an oversized white t-shirt that came just below her butt. As always she had her makeup and hair done. At 53 years old with her long blonde hair and small tight frame weighing in at 116 pounds she made the outfit look hot. Jeremy was wearing jeans.
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